Mission Impossible
by elizabeth-houdini3618
Summary: Alice enlists Emmett's help in pulling a little prank on Edward, and hilarity ensues hopefully . Short little onseshot, Alice POV.


**A/N I have to warn you, this is really short. It was inspired by a dream I had last night, and I couldn't resist writing it down. It's definitely not my usual style, but I got a laugh out of writing it. **

I bounded around the corner into Emmett's room, and was not surprised to see him sitting on the floor, with an Xbox controller in his hand. He was crouched about two feet away from the television screen, even though I'm sure he could have seen perfectly fine from farther away. His large fingers were pounding the buttons so furiously, I'm surprised they didn't break off completely. On the screen, I saw his miniature car drop a bomb onto the road behind him. As it exploded, he started giggling like a madman. I sighed, and decided I may as well just wait for him to finish. Nothing comes between Emmett and his Xbox.

As I was about to sit down, however, Emmett hit 'pause', and spun around to face me.

"Yes, Alice? Is there something I can help you with?" he asked impatiently, and gave an overly dramatic sigh. I had to laugh at that; for such a big guy, he could be so effeminate sometimes.

"Emmett, I need your help right away," I asked urgently.

"I'm a little busy Alice," he said with finality, and turned back towards the TV.

"Fine, go ahead and finish your race, but let me say this: Edward is going to present us with a seriously amazing opportunity to embarrass him in about fifteen minutes". I tapped my temple knowingly. Emmett's face lit up, and he immediately switched off the Xbox.

"Screw this. Sorry Josephine," he cooed lovingly to the blinking machine, "Alice needs my help right now, but I promise I'll come back later. We can have some Emmett–Josie time, if Rosalie doesn't interrupt". I rolled my eyes. I think his obsession is becoming a little unhealthy.

As we walked out to his jeep, I explained my plan at top speed. His eyes grew wide, and his face lit up with an evil grin. In a second, we were both seated inside the massive vehicle, with Emmett at the wheel. He raised his eyebrows.

"You are simply diabolical, Alice Cullen," he remarked casually.

"I know," I sighed happily, "It's a gift". In a few moments, we were pulling smoothly into the school parking lot.

"Okay," I explained, "If we're going to pull this off, we have to be totally stealth. So block your mind, and let's go". He obligingly shut off the engine, and a second later, we were both sliding quietly in the front doors. It was pretty quiet, as no students came to school on Saturdays, but I happened to know that the dance committee was decorating the gym for an event tomorrow night.

As we slunk through the halls of Forks High, Emmett began humming the theme song for Mission Impossible, and I had to remind him that theme music was not "stealth". We finally made our way into the gym, though. The sight that met our eyes was… interesting, to say the least. I stared. Emmett cackled manically.

Edward, Bella, and a handful of other teachers and students, including many of Edward's "admirers", were scattered around the gym in little clumps. Edward stood on a ladder, and I could tell his jeans were already hanging dangerously low on his hips. I smiled. Perfect.

Of course, he was too engrossed with talking to Bella – who was standing on the ground next to the ladder – to even notice us creeping towards him. Oddly enough, no one else noticed us either.

"This is perfect," I whispered to Emmett, "He won't be able to retaliate with all these humans around".

"He'll get us back later though. But it'll be so worth it," he snickered.

"Okay, I'll take Bella –"

" – and I'll take our dear Eddie".

I walked casually up to Bella, and pecked her on the cheek.

"Hey Bells. What's up? I thought I'd come down and see if I could help out". She smiled warmly.

"That's great Alice, thanks". Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett sneaking up to the ladder, completely unbeknownst to Edward and Bella. Yes! I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

In a flash that would be imperceptible to the humans, Emmett jumped up and snagged the bottom of Edward's pants. What happened next, I saw with startling clarity, and did my best to commit everything to memory.

Edward spun around just as Emmett was snatching his hand away, looking livid. I saw his pants drop in slow motion, like something out of a horrible comedy movie. I busted out laughing at the sight of his pristine blue boxers. He must have them ironed or something.

I glanced over at Bella, who was blushing profusely and looking mortified. It just made me laugh more. Emmett, meanwhile, was rolling around on the floor, laughing cynically and clutching his side. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, it did. This was the best day ever!

Edward's wide eyes almost popped out of his head as he lost his balance, and in one very ungraceful, un-vampirey motion, toppled to the floor with his pants around his ankles. As he shot back up off the ground, Emmett picked himself up as well. I started whistling, and did my best to look inconspicuous. But I suppose Edward, with his mindreading and all, was able to see right through me. By now, he had picked up his pants and was looking murderous. I knew he was about ready to kill Emmett, but at least we were safe while all the humans were around. Instead, he stalked over to Bella, who, by now, must have figured out exactly what had happened. They began to converse in low tones, and I went to stand with Emmett, who still had a broad grin plastered on his face. As I approached, he held up his large hand, and I slapped him and enthusiastic hi-five. I giggled, thoroughly pleased with the way things were unfolding.

"Victory is ours!" I exclaimed triumphantly. He gave another chuckle, and glanced towards Edward and Bella.

"Oh man, that was priceless". We looked around the gym to see the damage our little stunt had caused. Most of the girls were blushing and giggling with their friends, and the teachers were looking quite bemused with the whole thing. But none of them besides Bella knew exactly how it had happened. Edward looked over at us and met my eyes. He looked rather like a puppy that had just been kicked. I couldn't help it; I giggled again.

"I think we may have seriously damaged his pride," I whispered to Emmett.

"Ah, he can take it. He's got hundreds of years to get it back. Edward's a tough cookie". He shot an amused look towards our victim.

"We pantsed Edward Cullen," he mused. I gave him another hi-five.

"Mission accomplished".

**A/N Haha, so it's not exactly realistic, but I thought I'd have some fun. I took the liberty of deciding how to spell "pantsed". And I used "stealth" instead of "stealthy" 'cause that's how I like saying it. Comments and criticism are always welcome ;)**

**Oh, and don't ask me why Edward is on the Dance Committee. Bella probably talked him into it. **


End file.
